This is the true story of how I murdered my hand right before my very first exam at university. :P
I am going to start with the short version of the story, which makes me sound kind of like an idiot. So basically, right before my Geology exam, I accidentally cut my own hand, which caused me to be late for my exam. Sad, right?
And here is the long version of the story, which still makes me sound like an idiot, but also perhaps with an added element of marginal badass-ness.
9/1/2019 3pm
That was the time that I was supposed to be seated at the examination center, pen in my hand, ready to tackle the 2 hour paper that was very much significant to the module I was taking. Needless to say, that didn't exactly happen.
That morning, I woke up just before eight, made myself some breakfast then did some last minute revision at home.
I had some food in the fridge and an avocado, so I decided to make myself a sandwich at around 12:30. I cut the avocado open in half, and cupped the half with the pit in my left hand. Then I whacked the knife into the pit to get it out.
Or, at least I tried to.
Now, this is not a maneuver that I have never attempted before, but I've never had any accidents because of it.
Until 9th January, where I whacked the knife at a wrong angle and accidentally whacked my own thumb as well.
The cut wasn't extremely deep but it was definitely the deepest cut that I have gotten. It had a visible depth and the blood started gushing out. What was weird was that I did not really feel any pain at all, perhaps it was all the adrenaline rushing to my head. I sped to bathroom to wipe the blood off with some tissues, and half-ran down to the concierge of my apartment complex to get help.
Luckily, there was someone there who coincidentally knew first-aid. I asked if he would happen to be able to help me and if he had a first-aid kit. He did and he managed to help me bandage my wound so as to stop the bleeding.
After thanking him I decided that I better head to my local GP to get the wound checked, just in case. So I ran there, my mind inevitably running towards my imminent Geology exam. I knew that the chances of me getting my wound checked then arriving at the examination on time were slim.
I made a call to my family friend on the way, just so she would know what had happened to me. This is when I first learned that cutting oneself when trying to cut an avocado was really common. (Avocados are really not that popular where I come from, so I have never heard of this before.) I told her that I was headed to my GP, and she asked me if it would be open. I said it probably would be, because I honestly could not think of any reason it would not be open on a regular week day.
But when I arrived... it was actually closed, because it was lunch time...
I stayed there for a bit and there was another lady trying to get in, who suggested I raise my hand to reduce the blood rushing to my wound. We tried knocking on the door and calling the clinic but we could not reach anyone that was inside. I called my family friend again because I honestly did not know if I should stay and wait until the clinic reopens or if I should head to university to try and make my exam. She suggested that I head to university first, because there would probably be people there who could assess my wound and my ability to take the exam. She knew that if I was able to walk to the GP on my own, my injury probably was not that bad.
So I went home, grabbed my bag and headed to university, with my left hand raised the entire time. It kind of looked like I was holding the thumbs-up sign. (At this point, and until the end of the day, I was still wearing my sleep shirt...)
I made it to university at around 2 pm, and headed straight to the security booth next to the main library. I said that I had cut myself with a knife and I did not know how bad the injury was; the guy smiled and scoffed, "Well, it must be kind of bad; even I've never cut myself with a knife before." I asked where I could get first aid help. Thankfully, there was a guy there who knew first aid. He told me there was not much he could do, since saw my wound was already bandaged, which was what he would have done for me as a first-aider. He also said that removing the bandage might restart the bleeding.
Another guy at the booth interjected to ask how long ago my injury was, and I said roughly an hour. And he was like, "Okay, you have not bled through your bandage yet, so you are unlikely to bleed to death. But if the wound is more than skin deep, you better go get it checked at the hospital." And I knew it would be in my best interest to comply. I mentioned that I also had an exam at 3 pm that afternoon, then he laughed and said, "So this was your plan all along?"
I laughed but I still felt somewhat guilty. "No..."
"I'm just teasing."
Then they offered to take down my student card number so that my professor would know I had been there. In the process of thanking them, I rambled on about how my injury was in an attempt to cut open an avocado, which led to the dude jokingly saying, "You have just lost all of my sympathy."
After that I headed to the hospital, but since the Earth Sciences Departmental Office was on the way, I decided to drop by and mention that I would not be able to take the exam. I guess I was really having mixed feelings because honestly I was nervous about the exam previously, and yet I knew how extremely troublesome postponing the exam would be.
At the ES Departmental Office, I explained to the staff there that I would not be able to take the exam, which just led to them laughing and saying, "Wow, the things that students do nowadays to get out of exams..." I apologized in an attempt to defend myself and she smiled and said, "Don't worry, I'm just kidding." The staff there then proceeded to be super helpful in helping me contact my professor. I really could not imagine typing up an email with a bleeding left thumb.
Then I walked towards my next stop - the hospital. Honestly, at this point I was not really in a bad mood. Quite frankly, I was in a pretty good mood, and really grateful for all of the people who had been super helpful to me. (Okay, and maybe my subconscious was also glad that I had evaded my Geology exam.) So this happened as I walked up to the counter of A&E and explained my situation:
The guy at the reception looked at me with an entirely straight face. "So you've just injured yourself."
"Yeah?"
"Then, why are you smiling?"
I would have laughed some more at the situation were it not for the complete lack of emotion on the guy's face, so I mumbled something about my injury having occurred over an hour ago.
Then I waited at the hospital for a bit, and finally got my wound checked and dressed properly. They had to glue the laceration together. And I was once again informed just how common "Avocado Hand" was.
-_-
It was 3:30 pm when everything at the hospital was sorted out, and seeing as I was not extremely late, I decided to head back to uni to find my professor. It took a little bit of time, but luckily I was ultimately able to find him and I completed my Geology exam that day as well. I don't think I performed worse than if I had not cut my own hand, so I'm happy.
As I took the tube home, I let all the events of the day sink in, and this sense of relief and thankfulness washed over me.
Honestly, given the state of my home that I came back to though, this feeling is some what perplexing. The knife that I had used was lying on the kitchen counter, alongside two halves of an avocado -- pitless. The pit was three meters away on the floor, where it had rolled after I dropped it. Next to that was also a tiny little trail of dried blood leading from the kitchen to the bathroom.
I previously would not have thought that such an incident at the least opportune time could result in a decent resolution.
And I think I have really experienced that people are much nicer than you would expect, even if it is disguised under a distinctive sense of British sarcasm. On a regular day, you walk pass so many impassive faces and the thought of interacting with them barely crosses your mind. It honestly is so reassuring to know that these complete strangers could be angels in your time of need.
I guess I have also been reminded this day that being independent really is not about being able to manage everything on your own, but about knowing where to get help when you need it.
And that concludes my crazy story:)
P.S. I pray that you would never need to use this piece of advice, but just in case, cornstarch (cornflour) is great for removing blood stains. Just mix it with some water and leave it on the stain overnight. :P